Known

 I chose a calming photo today.

My devotional practice for the last few weeks has been to use the common lectionary passages as journaling prompts.

For proper context, I need to say that I don't generally start my day with devotional practice, but rather with my phone, and instagram alongside NPR. 

A few days ago, I was gutted by the news of Israel again bombing Rafah, and tents filled with refugees being burned. There was a video of a child screaming as he watched his tent burning, his father still inside. Where is the humanity in this????

Later in the day, still filled with this horror, I pulled up the passage that was next for me, 

Psalm 139:1-6, 13-18.

O LORD, you have searched me and known me.

You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from far away.

You search out my path and my lying down, and are acquainted with all my ways.

 Even before a word is on my tongue, O LORD, you know it completely.

You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is so high that I cannot attain it.

For it was you who formed my inward parts; you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; that I know very well.

 My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes beheld my unformed substance. In your book were written all the days that were formed for me, when none of them as yet existed.

How weighty to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!

I try to count them -- they are more than the sand; I come to the end -- I am still with you

This is a familiar passage, a favorite,

reminder of the depth of love God has for all people.

All people.

And that is where it breaks me.

That child screaming for his father...

and the person who ordered the bombs to be dropped...

both beloved

formed

fearfully and wonderfully made

intricately woven in the wombs of their mothers...

I remember the summer of 2020, when the murder of George Floyd forced the country to see the reality of racism. I spent time reading the history of protest, and how the protesters of the 1960s trained for non-violence while likely facing violence against themselves. One thing that caught my attention was their resolve to see their oppressors as beloved. To remember that their attackers were once innocent infants, held in their mother's arms. John Lewis spoke about this. He also spoke about how many of those who were violent in those days, later came to him to ask for forgiveness.

Does this change the way I pray?

I admit that I can't easily or wisely pray about this.

I can pray that it will end. I can pray for justice. I can pray that hearts will change.

Can I see the oppressor as loved by God as much as the child is beloved by God?

Not yet...

It doesn't matter whether I can see that or not.

God's love isn't limited by my inability to be as loving as God is.

But I can pray for this,

that those making the terrible decisions that we hear about each new day,

will remember these words,

and know in the deepest place inside them,

that these words were written for the children in their sights

as well as for them.

God have mercy.