Our Thin Place

We are currently in a thin place. 

My siblings and our families are walking those days between life and death with my mother. I don't have much time to write, so even though there are so many thoughts, I'll just put down the little bit I have this morning.

I'm adding just a couple of pictures to remind myself of the other ways she has been present in our lives.

A little more than ten years ago

Cutting corn

After the sale of their rural property

Each day now, Mom is a bit different. I want to say she is more distant, which would be true, but it is also true that she is more present.

She is distant, in that she seems to need effort to pull herself out of reverie into conversations. It is most noticeable when a new person enters the room, and her eyes focus and her face animates. She hears all that we say, but her eyes are often not trained on us unless we are speaking directly to her while sitting next to her bed.

She is present in ways most of us wish to be present. She receives every spoonful of watermelon as though it is a very hot day and this is the first bite of cold watermelon she has ever tasted. She welcomes each kindness from loved ones and strangers in that same way---with wonder and gratitude.

Except for brief lapses, 

she is free of the burden that she must earn her worth through getting things done. 

She still has the ability to offer emotional care to others.

These days of grace can't last long, 

and we are savoring them, 

not ready at all for her to be gone, 

and yet ready...

or maybe, mostly ready...

for her suffering to end.

Resting with Fritz, a few days ago.