Saturday, February 21, 2009

Pre-Lenten workshop

Thanks to Chuck's generosity in agreeing to be in charge most of the day today, I was able to go to a Spiritual Journey workshop in preparation for Lent. I did not really know what to expect because I have not been to something like this before.

It was a busy and stressful week this week and I was ready for a break, but I was hoping that this break would include a lot of quiet solitude. I really enjoy being with other people. I'm not sure why I was so interested in having time and quiet to think. But I got what I wanted.

We began last night with a brief worship and some instructions/suggestions to get us started thinking about where we are in our lives. Laurie had some fairly specific suggestions, but also was clear that if God seemed to leading in another direction we should go with it. Let the Spirit be our guide.

We reconvened for another brief worship and instructions to spend another hour in silence before meeting again this morning.

Today we again began with brief worship and more suggestions, this time for considering how God had intervened throughout our lives, and then we had 2-2 1/2 hour to work on our own. It was such a rich and nourishing time. And the afternoon also had another suggestion for looking deeper into the insights we'd already uncovered, and then time to work. We had a final worship time and then closed the workshop.

Throughout, it was comfortable. There was no pushing to share and no expectations for vulnerability with strangers. Some shared. More didn't.

So I have more to think about.

I wish I could say that I came home and handled my home life with grace, but that wouldn't be quite true.

Thursday, February 19, 2009


I managed to listen to a couple of audios on line today that were so good. The first, and interview with Bonnie Harris, is about parenting. It is good info for everyone, and especially good for me with the changes I am trying to make. This is the link.

The other audio was also an interview, this time with Nancy Verrier. She is well known in the adoption world for her book, Primal Wound, which explores the experience of adoption for the person who is adopted. There was so much in that interview that made sense, or that made the behaviors of my kids make sense. I have a link for that interview too.

I especially loved Nancy's honesty. She has adopted children and birth children, like I do. She is an advocate for adoption. But she doesn't pretend that it is the same as giving birth to a baby. She talks about how much is genetic, that even posture and gestures are genetic. She is honest about how much harder it was for her to 'read' the emotional state of her birth child than it was to do the same thing with her adopted child---and she is honest about that because she wants parents to know it is normal AND that it is important to work harder at understanding their adopted child because it doesn't come naturally.

She also talks about how much bonding occurs even before birth, and that even a child adopted at birth knows instinctively that it has experienced a loss. When we pretend that there is nothing different, we don't allow the child to feel understood. They can't express their wish that they looked like someone in their family, or that they wonder about who they are like.

I'm interested in reading her book now.

Monday, February 09, 2009

Zoo Trip

Last Friday Laura and Luke and I went to the zoo and I wanted to post these pics so that she could see them. Luke was mostly interested in walking, and spent more time looking at the paths than at the animals. But it was a wonderfully warm day and he had lots of paths to walk on.

The other thing he really wanted to do was play with the sand on the ground in the petting zoo. That sand is where all the poo ends up, so we did quite a bit of washing up.

When we did see animals he would talk to them in a high pitched voice, just like we talk to him.





When he walked so much he got pretty tired. If he fell he would hurt his hands on the pavement, so we tied Laura's scarf to his overall straps to break his falls. That worked pretty well.
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Luke was here today and did something he hasn't done for me before. We played for quite a while all over the house. Then he led me to the room where he usually naps. He went to the rocker and patted the seat. When I made a move to go back downstairs he didn't want to come. I realized he was telling me he was tired. We warmed a bottle, settled into the rocker, and he had a good long nap.

It's such fun seeing him learn how to communicate. Every day is new.

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Bright Spots

Time for another blatant Grammy post. The stuff that has been absorbing my time the last couple of weeks involves too many other people to write about, but a bright spot that keeps me sane is this sweet boy.

We have a ceramic pic that graces our living room. Luke really likes this pig.

He really really likes this pig.

But when he's at our house, he loves his grandpa best. Anytime Chuck walks into the house, Luke lights up and lunges for him.

Speaking of Luke's grandpa, his focus the last couple of days has been on this tractor, how it is not working, and whether to replace it. That focus has become fairly intense. Some people might call it obsessive. But not me. Nope.

Right now he has given up his tractor thoughts in favor of emptying the dishwasher, so I think I may go help him.