I read the chapter on expressing anger fully. I need to read it again. This is what I understand so far.
- Anger is a signal that it is important to look at your own needs and feelings.
- Anger is also a signal that you have made judgments about someone else. It may be about their attitudes, their character, their motivation, or some other aspect of their personality. There is usually not anger unless there is also another person involved, unless you are judging yourself and are angry at yourself. For example, if someone asks for a favor you may be glad they feel comfortable enough to ask, you may feel frustrated that they have enough nerve to ask, you may wonder why they are so lazy they can't do it themselves, you may feel upset that they seem to think they can tell you what to do, etc.
- There is a four step process to anger.
- Identify judgmental thoughts
- Identify my needs
- Express feelings and unmet needs
- It's way more complicated than four steps because in expressing my feelings and needs I may bring out feelings and needs in the other person. In order to be heard, I will have to be able to empathize with and fully hear that other person first. Doing that when I am angry may take quite a few breaks for breathing.
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I have to decide in the next couple of days whether to take on some new responsibilities. The timing seems bad, but it also seems bad for all the other people who could take on these responsibilities instead of me. Chuck says to pray about it. I did. No magic yet.