The Long Loneliness

I'm reading Dorothy Day's autobiography, copyright 1952. It was written before I was born but the writing is personal and present. She speaks of the times (I'm still in her pre-WWI days) but the issues dear to her heart are those that I struggle with.

After college she joined with communist and socialist groups in New York City. She speaks of the people they argued against.
"There was no attack on religion because people were generally indifferent to religion. They were neither hot nor cold. They were the tepid, the materialistic, who hoped that by Sunday churchgoing they would be taking care of the afterlife, if there were an afterlife. Meanwhile they would get everything they could in this.

"On the other hand, the Marxists, the I.W.W.'s who looked upon religion as the opiate of the people, who thought they had only this one life to live and then oblivion---they were the ones who were eager to sacrifice themselves here and now, thus doing without now and for all eternity the good things of the world which they were fighting to obtain for their brothers. It was then, and still is, a paradox that confounds me. God love them! And God pity the lukewarm of whom St. John said harshly (though he was the disciple of love) that God would spew them out of His mouth." p.63

And this:
"She never met a Christian. This I am sure is literally true. When we were at the university together, we never met anyone who had a vital faith, or, if he had one, was articulate or apostolic.

"There were no doubt those whose souls glowed with belief, whose hearts were warmed by the love of God, on all sides of us. But mingling as we did, in our life together, and in our life apart, with radical groups, we never met any whose personal morality was matched by a social morality or who tried to make life here of others a foretaste of the life to come." p.70-71

Dorothy Day later went on to find vital faith in the Catholic church and began the Catholic worker movement. I anticipate that her story will include Christians who lived like Christ in the pages ahead of me. She had no use for religion that did not have a vital concern for those whom Jesus had vital concern.

If we did not have to worry about money or family responsibilities would this change how we are willing to live our faith? Would I do things differently? Is there a way to truly seek God first and not worry about all these things?

I know it is simplistic and guilt ridden. I know that in one of the prophets the people are severely scolded for neglecting the poor. Then they are told to care for the poor without neglecting their own families. But I worry about caring so much for my own family that I neglect the poor, the sick, the prisoner, the refugee. At this moment, I guess I have at least three of those four in my own family or circle of close friends.

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