Three books at a time

 It's a rainy day today. I'd ordered groceries for this morning because I wanted to do a pick up before cold weather. With the rain, that worked out well to also go to the downtown market and deli to get some of the staples there right at opening, before things got busy. I was the first customer into the store, and it's always good to see the people I know who work there.

I've quickly gotten used to being home day after day over this holiday break. I'm going to do some cooking ahead later this week in order to ease back into a busier schedule as school gets started again.

Even though the news feed has slowed down a bit since the election, there are still days when it can make me feel hopeless. The divides are so great. In the last few days I've started three books that relate in one way or another to those feelings. I heard about the first one in a podcast earlier this fall and thought it would be something a bit lighter but still meaningful.

The book is Tell Me More, by Kelly Corrigan, and Chuck and I are listening to this one together. This is a book about the twelve things most important to say to sustain our relationships, starting with "Tell me more..." Corrigan does a great job of explaining the value of each of these phrases by telling animated stories from her own life about learning to use each phrase. She is honest about the fallout of not using them, as well as the benefits of using them well. 

The theme is clearly how to form connections, real connections, with other people. 

I can't think of something we need more right now, nationally. But also personally, these phrases open non-judgemental conversation, set good boundaries that allow relationships to flourish, and set a tone for a strong relationship to continue to grow.

The second book was recommended by a friend on facebook just this week. See No Stranger, a Memoir and Manifesto of Revolutionary Love, by Valarie Kaur begins by challenging us to see our difficult times in a new light. Instead of seeing this time as a possible tomb, we can look at it as a womb, birthing a better time ahead of us. She has been through a lot, as a Sikh woman immigrant who was twenty years old on 9/11/2001. There was no safety for her family, who saw themselves as American patriots, but who were seen as the enemy by anyone who saw their brown skin and the turbans they wore as part of their Sikh faith. Her book is about how to reach across incredibly deep divides. It stems from a TED talk she gave. Kaur encourage us to choose to see others with curiosity, and to fight through our judgements toward that end. But that is much too simple a summary. It is worth the read to see how she has faced those who would kill her loved ones, how she has nurtured herself in order to be able to offer curiosity and wondering to those who have not offered it to her. There is a link to her TED talk here: Valarie Kaur TED talk.

During the night last night I had trouble sleeping and did not want to listen to either book because I didn't want to wake Chuck. I went to my Hoopla library app and did a search for Barbara Brown Taylor, an author I can trust for wisdom. Hoopla had one I'd not read yet, Learning to Walk In the Dark. Since these times have seemed like dark times, I quickly downloaded the book and read for a long while. Again, this author speaks of going through dark times with curiosity and wondering. If we see life as a cycle, such as day to night to day again, or full moon to new moon and back to full, can we wonder what the dark times have to teach us?

So I'm reading or listening to three books with edges of the same theme; turning toward wonder and curiosity, and away from judgement and fear.