Do you want to build a snowman?

 On this snowy first day of the New Year, we started out rough. I know it seems like people who blog always get along with their families, because I read blogs, and I don't read much about rough spots. But we had one today. It was hard, and we were both trying to communicate honestly and respectfully. 

Discord is exhausting, and on top of a late night and and a global hard year, things felt kind of bleak. Naps were taken, and then we began to get photos on facebook messenger. Our grandkids were playing in the snow.

Why not?

So we did. We put boots on Fritz and bundled up to build a snowman in the back yard.

This is a 4-5" snow, and perfect for snow building. We chose the back yard for two reasons. Fritz could run off lead there while we played in the snow, and we could leave the snow untouched in the front yard where it was so beautiful.

I have to admit it was kind of fun to see if we could build a snow person taller than ourselves. Once it was built, Chuck had some very specific ideas of how it should look, so he searched out all the accessories. Then we had a photo shoot.

Then we decided to collect the dog. We'd left Fritz to his own devices without really checking on him much at all until we were nearly done building. Fritz has discovered a place behind some large bushes where there is some kind of burrow inhabitted by small rodents. I've seen glimpses of them. Bigger than a mouse, less tail than a rat, chubby with a smooth brownish gray fur. I think they have moved away to avoid Fritz, but the area still has their scent. So he spent the afternoon trying to dig them out. Because the snow was wet, the dirt underneath was wet, and while the boots kept his feet clean, most of the rest of him was not clean. Whenever he got tired of digging, he would lie down right in that snow free muddy area.

This meant he needed a bath, which is kind of a big job.

I'd gotten a roast up from the freezer to make borscht today, but we had gone out to play instead of getting the soup started. Chuck really loved borscht. I do too, actually, but I was OK with making it tomorrow so that it could simmer long enough to really get the flavor right. He was open to eating late and helping with the chopping so that we could still have it tonight. So we cooked together. We don't do that often. We each have our own ways of doing things. But today we did things differently together. So the cabbage is chopped differently than I would chop it, but it came out pretty tasty. While it was simmering, we fired up the Wii and tried bowling and golf.

Now the leftovers are packaged and we have had our snow ice cream dessert.

Yesterday I watched a PBS interview where the question was asked how the interviewee was doing with the stress of these times. Her answer was quick, almost too quick. She was doing well because she does the things she needs to do. It was so matter of fact. I wondered how she could be so certain, but she went on to explain. She has learned to notice her emotional state, and she has learned what things she must do to keep her equilibrium. She knows to get outside, to exercise, to find time alone. I know she listed more things she did that helped her to keep her balance emotionally, and that is not what is important here. 

It is important that she knows what helps her. 

It is important that she does what helps her.

Maybe when we are in a rough spot, what we need is to keep talking. 

Or maybe what we need is to stop talking, at least for a while, and get some rest,  go outside, exercise, play, make good food. Perhaps taking care of ourselves will give us what we need to listen better, to be less defensive, to pay attention to what is good.