only just begun

When the wild sunflowers bloom here I know the worst of summer is over and it's time for my birthday. I let these grow next to my house even though they make it look unkempt and wild because I like them so much. I'll be fifty this year, although that doesn't seem like such a big thing because so many of my friends are too.

I'm not stepping over any lonely threshold. There is a huge crowd of us born at the end of the baby boom who like to claim the 60's even though we were still in grade school then. We still protested but it was popular by the time we did it, and too many of us moved toward the right side of the political spectrum by the time we were old enough to be raising families. Dr. James Dobson was the guru and many of us listened daily to the advice we craved. I'm not sure how we all lost faith in our ability to parent without being told what to do. Even those of us with terrific parents somehow thought we needed experts with lots of letters behind their names in order to be sure we did not ruin the emotional health of those precious children entrusted to us. And yet, because we are human even with the help of experts, we left our children with their own set of issues they will struggle to overcome.

So now our children are mostly grown and we are fifty. I'm looking out at this life ahead of me and wondering what to do with it. I'm still inspired by people who step out and take risks. Tom Fox signed up for Christian Peacemaker Teams after his children were grown.

I was listening to NPR yesterday evening. There is an annual award being given today to a retired person who, after retirement, set out to change their world. They tell the story of just one of the nominees. It is so inspiring. My chance to make a difference hasn't passed yet. I'm just getting started.