Remote

Magic

When the stay-at-home orders came out and we stopped seeing our nearby grandchildren regularly, I started writing a continuing story for them. All four of them were the main characters and the fifth main character was the element of magic, which of course made anything possible, plot-wise. They were each invited to list three things that had to appear in the story before it ended. We ended up with thirty-one episodes between April and the end of June, with at least one of the requested items not showing up until the last episode or two. 

So we started our remote time from our grandchildren strong, I think. But it has been more of a stretch as remote time has extended.

Politics and Religion

Writing every day is more of a challenge than I expected it to be, and the biggest reason is the political and faith atmosphere. I don't want to always write about the great divides, but they are the most present things in my mind nearly every day. Sometimes I feel empathy, desiring that we learn to talk in such a way that all of us can be recognized as beloved by God. Those are the days I'm more likely to write. And then there are days like yesterday when I just could not reel in my despair and anger. I don't want to write when I'm in that headspace. We are remote. It is painful. 

Season

During the summer we had opportunity to be distant and see others outdoors. We are rapidly approaching a time when we are physically more remote because of the weather. I'm holding tightly to those warmer days that still crop up, just as tenatiously as this gaillardia is grasping at her color even after several frosts.

I have to get out pretty early after remote school to have a walk before it gets dark. We used to walk after supper. Now we walk well before supper and still hurry to get back home before the sunlight is gone.

So our times together outside are becoming more precious to us. We continue to brainstorm possible options for being together but have not come up with a plan we both feel good about yet. We aren't giving up, but we are running low on time before the holiday season. Zoom will always be available, as well as phone and text. I heard that Joe Biden calls or texts his children and grandchildren daily, so I have some work to do to keep up with that example.

School

I've mentioned, I think, that I'm helping with remote schooling with some of my grandchildren. It is a daunting task to get up to speed with the technology, to work with the different styles of multiple teachers on platforms I haven't used before. I'm not complaining about teachers AT ALL. They are working so very hard. But I've had a steep learning curve. The kids have as well. 

We entered our second quarter this week, and I've begun to see changes. More ability to work independently from the kids. Tweaking of the software by the teachers to make things more intuitive. Higher comfort level in my ability to figure out where to find the assignments  and expectations for each child. Today, especially, we seemed to take a big step forward. I'm aware that we might slip back tomorrow, but I'm not going to complain about a day of seeing the kids feel more confident in their ability to manage school and succeed in what they are attempting. 

God

Centering prayer is a newer practice for me, a time of silence, of quieting even thoughts in order to be still in the presence of God. As I've mentioned before, I'm sleeping better, so I know this practice of not giving my list of instructions to God, but choosing, for a season, to trust that God knows it all, is helping the anxiety. 

At the same time, it is a discipline. I've been told that it takes a lot of days of doing centering prayer to begin to be able to sense the presence of God alongside you in the silence. Those who teach it advocate for keeping a regular regular practice of 20 minutes twice a day for several months before deciding it is not for you. I'm doing it only once a day for twenty minutes, so I was prepared for it to take a long time to sense anything but the stillness.

Yesterday morning I had more worry on my mind than usual, and only ten minutes available instead of the twenty minutes I'd hoped for. And so I began the timer without expectation. And then there was grace I can't explain, a brief release of some of the tension, a sense of presence.