Retreat
I have a lot of discretionary time this week, time with no demands other than the ones I place on myself or accept from others. When something like that drops into my lap I agonize about how to spend it. It is such a precious commodity. What if I waste it?
Of course there are many things that could be done. I could volunteer. I could clean closets. I could... it's endless.
One thing I had decided I would do was morning pages. I would write for a half hour each day. This isn't serious writing for publication. It is continuous writing, stream of consciousness writing. You aren't allowed to stop and think and if you run out of words you just write "I'm out of words" over and over until you have words again.
So I was doing my morning pages and my mind was on all the things I could do and what I wanted to do and what I 'should' do. I couldn't figure out why I was more drawn to at home kinds of things than I was to away kinds of things. I wanted a few away things and some contact with the people I'm close to, but I almost have a hunger to be alone for long periods of time. I realized while writing that I have wished for an opportunity for spiritual retreat for years. It just hasn't really been possible without major schedule juggling and help with childcare, etc. Now the time is dropped into my lap.
So I'm being careful about my time. I'm doing some things, enjoying some phone calls, having some time with friends. But I'm also scheduling a lot of 'home alone' time. I'm using it to pray, to study, to write, to listen, to read, and to be still. I'm also knitting and watching a movie now and then. :-)
It's harder to do than I thought it would be. Once I get started it is great, but until then I'm pretty aware of the messes I should clean or the people I should help. I'll clean a few messes in between, but I won't clean all of them. I'll help a few people, but most of my helpfulness will kick in again next week.
Lent is starting now. Some of my reading was about the historical focus of lent. According to my reading, lent is a period of self examination and repentence. Repentence is kind of a scary word sometimes. To me it implies some groveling and feeling bad about myself. But that really isn't what it is. It is turning away from the things you do that hurt you to things that are good. So that is an encouraging thing. Repentence means things get better.
* * * * *
There is more here.
Of course there are many things that could be done. I could volunteer. I could clean closets. I could... it's endless.
One thing I had decided I would do was morning pages. I would write for a half hour each day. This isn't serious writing for publication. It is continuous writing, stream of consciousness writing. You aren't allowed to stop and think and if you run out of words you just write "I'm out of words" over and over until you have words again.
So I was doing my morning pages and my mind was on all the things I could do and what I wanted to do and what I 'should' do. I couldn't figure out why I was more drawn to at home kinds of things than I was to away kinds of things. I wanted a few away things and some contact with the people I'm close to, but I almost have a hunger to be alone for long periods of time. I realized while writing that I have wished for an opportunity for spiritual retreat for years. It just hasn't really been possible without major schedule juggling and help with childcare, etc. Now the time is dropped into my lap.
So I'm being careful about my time. I'm doing some things, enjoying some phone calls, having some time with friends. But I'm also scheduling a lot of 'home alone' time. I'm using it to pray, to study, to write, to listen, to read, and to be still. I'm also knitting and watching a movie now and then. :-)
It's harder to do than I thought it would be. Once I get started it is great, but until then I'm pretty aware of the messes I should clean or the people I should help. I'll clean a few messes in between, but I won't clean all of them. I'll help a few people, but most of my helpfulness will kick in again next week.
Lent is starting now. Some of my reading was about the historical focus of lent. According to my reading, lent is a period of self examination and repentence. Repentence is kind of a scary word sometimes. To me it implies some groveling and feeling bad about myself. But that really isn't what it is. It is turning away from the things you do that hurt you to things that are good. So that is an encouraging thing. Repentence means things get better.
* * * * *
There is more here.
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