Discerning God's Will - Women's conference

One of the workshops I went to at the Women's conference was about discerning God's direction in your life. The leader listed several ways that God leads and nearly all of them resounded with me.

She talked about hearing directly from God, and recounted an example of that in her life. I don't know a lot of people who have examples of that in their lives, but I remember one time when I believed God was speaking clearly to me. I still believe it.

She talked about being nudged by others and I have had that happen too. Other people have been significant in the directions my life has taken. They have made observations and held me accountable, and inspired me with their own journeys.

She mentioned how we are led by small steps, each step taking us closer to a bigger responsibility than we would have guessed we were capable of. That has most certainly happened to me in many areas of my life.

She said that it is important to learn to say no to the jobs that are taking us away from the direction God is leading us, which is very true.

Then she said the one thing I disagreed with. She said you can tell whether to say no to a job by whether the idea of the job energizes you or burdens you. I do agree that you have to look at this. I don't agree that it is a clear leading from God. Some of the jobs I have done were/are energizing. Teaching Sunday School is amazingly energizing for me. Writing can get me wide awake and full of things to think about.

Some of the jobs I am sure I am supposed to do are burdensome. There are jobs that keep me awake at night from the stress of feeling that I'm in over my head. But I look at the ways I was led to those jobs and I am convinced that God put me in those jobs for a reason.

After that session was over I had some time for quiet time so I went to the designated prayer room. My reading for the day was in Jeremiah. It was the chapter where Jeremiah spends the entire chapter wishing he had been stillborn rather than have to be the person who warns God's people of future judgment. Somehow I don't think he was finding prophesy very energizing.

I do not believe that anyone should choose to do burdensome jobs without some discernment from the other ways God leads us. God spoke out loud to Jeremiah. It would be pretty hard to deny that calling. And it would be pretty hard to continue doing such a difficult job without a strong sense of that calling.

It would be dangerous to see God as a killjoy that can't wait to put us in a job that will make us suffer. It is just as dangerous to see God as never wanting us do anything that is hard or uncomfortable.

The tough jobs I do have confirmation in other ways as well. I began one of my jobs because of the affirmation of several people I respect, and from my realization that doing this job is also affirmed by scripture as being important. Another job came through small steps, regular affirmations, and frequent confirmations that seemed to be from God over the years. And these jobs have not been only burdensome. They have in turn been energizing. They have also been humbling, and have required me to lean on God because I knew so clearly that I was not equal to the tasks before me.

Today was one of those days. Things that happened today careened out of control until by 4:30 I was sure there was no way to end the day well. But it ended well. I am sure it is the result of God and not anything else. There was too much that could go wrong. I was carrying the kind of anxiety that causes me to use words that make things worse. A lot of heightened emotions were floating around about at least three big issues, any of which could have been volatile.

All day, as things continued to come up, I was reminded of how easy it is for me to think that people should just trust God to work things out and should not get so upset. I was not finding it very easy to do that myself. I also was reminded that the urge to control things when I am worried is almost never a good idea.

So I tried not to control things. I tried to trust that no matter what happened, my job was to be calm and respectful. That was a stretch for me, but it was a good stretch. We managed to talk through each of the three big items calmly, respectfully, and with everyone's self respect still intact.

It isn't over yet. I still have plenty of angst to go around. Hopefully tomorrow I will find it easier since today worked out so well.

Comments

Anonymous said…
this is regarding a previous post... i can't believe the fuzzy wallpaper is gone!!!! all my childhood memories are evaporating into some kind of folkloric oral tradition that can never be proven by taking my kids back to your dining room and saying "see, i told you they have fuzzy wallpaper!" it's like when you took out the chandelier! or the pink shag carpet! you've got to keep a swatch in some corner somewhere because no one is going to believe you when you try to describe what it used to be.
miss you guys!

- leah
Anonymous said…
You write very well.

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