Headlines for Fun

Our hometown newspaper has a weekly column by Mike Morton. He has a folksy sense of humor, and if I have time, I read it.

Tonight his title was "Headlines to Make Your Head Spin". When Chuck and Tim asked why I was laughing out loud, I decided to back up and read the headlines to them. If you get the paper, read it there. Mike does some embellishing, and you might enjoy the humor.

If you don't get the paper, I'll list the headlines here. If you read them out loud late in the evening to people who are tired, the effect is probably better than in the cold morning sunshine. According to Mike, these are actual headlines.



Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Axe



Kids Make Nutritious Snacks



Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge



Panda Mating Fails, Veterinarian Takes Over



Eye Drops Off Shelf



Helicopter Powered By Human Flies



Pope To Be Arraigned For Allegedly Burglarizing Clinic
(article about a Mr. Pope, not the Pope)



City Wants Dead to Pay For Cleanup
(about the group, The Grateful Dead)



Montana Traded To Kansas City



International Scientific Group Elects Bimbo As Its Chairman
(Mr. Bimbo?)



Storm Delays Bad Weather



Trees Can Break Wind



Missouri Woman Big Winner At Hog Contest



Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link



Cockroach Slain, Husband Badly Hurt



Two Sisters Reunited After Eighteen Years At Checkout Counter