For Such A Time As This

Although I am still writing nearly every day, writing has not been showing up here. It isn't that I'm not thinking about things worth writing about. There is a lot to write about now. But as much as I process with words, my processing is still half baked.

The times we are in right now require wisdom, more than I have. So I write, and then I read what I've written. Clearly more thought is needed.

There is a song I've loved ever since I was given the cd, Great Big World, by Pierce Pettis. It's called, "You're Gonna Need This Memory" and I've added a link so you can hear it the way I hear it in my head. The lyrics are below, if you want to read along while you listen, or if you just want to read without listening.

You’re Gonna Need This Memory

Green leaves shiver on that tree

Seasons turn like traffic lights

Like some fine flashing thing just outside whisperin'

Hold on, boy, you're gonna need this memory

I've seen baby hands reach out

Grab my fingers like a vise, grab my glasses

Grab my keys, grab my heart by the strings

Hold on, boy, you're gonna need this memory

If all I got for all my trouble

Is just a box of souvenirs

Still it's worth a lot just to remember

Just to know that I was here

Lovers smile from photographs of endless summers by the sea

Still hear old friends joke and laugh

From the past they call to me

Saying, "Hold on boy, you're gonna need this memory"

If all we got for all our trouble

Is just this box of souvenirs

Still it's worth a lot just to remember

Just so we know that we were here

Footprints walkin' in the sand

The tide will come and wash them clean

Sometimes when you squeeze my hand

I think I know just what you mean

Saying, "Hold on boy, you're gonna need this memory"

Saying, "Hold on boy, you're gonna need this memory"

I’ve loved this song since the first time I heard it, but it seems the older I get, the more it runs on repeat in my thoughts.  It is such a good reminder, both to stay fully present in the moment (to notice well enough), and to find solace in the recollection.

There is a spiritual practice of examen, which involves the recall of the happy and hard moments of each day, noticing what they are, offering them to God.

There are times when those happy thoughts of gratitude flow easily, but as the song says, there are also times when you need those memories you've held on to. 

Right now, with our country so divided, with legitimate outrage coming from many directions, and with few answers in sight, I find myself with that familiar intensity. There are so many things wrong with the world, wrong with how things have always been. How can things get better when no one can even agree on what truth is? And added to that is the awareness of dear friends going through hard things. This is a time for holding on to good things, for adding balance.

I need the other part of the examen, the recognition that in today there has been good, and the truth that in the past, there has been good.

Which memories do I need? What will cause me to need them?

Here are a few I hold on to.

My parents

Sunsets viewed from the front porch of our farm house.

The smell of spring rains.

The way my heart quickened the first time Chuck took my hand and laced his fingers through mine.

Crisp dry mountain air and the sound of a running brook near our tent in the 

Colorado mountains.

Sleepy-eyed early morning smiles from 6 month old babies, each in their turns, waking up in the morning so glad to greet the day.

Exhaustion mixed with accomplishment from hard physical labor preparing the soil for another year’s garden. The loamy smell of the soil as I turn it and mix in compost. The hopeful sense, however short lived it may be, that this year everything will grow just as I envision it as I lay the seeds into their rows.

Fresh cut zinnias in vases all over the house.

Sweet corn harvests.



Dad sitting at my table holding an ear of corn and a vice grip with a razor blade over a bowl to catch the kernels as they fall, laughing and telling stories as he works alongside Chuck and the kids cutting corn for the freezer.



Mom with me in the kitchen boiling and chilling the freshly husked and washed ears. The sticky sweetness of the kernels we snack on as we work. Shoulders touching as one holds a bag open and another fills it with yellow goodness. Bits of corn tracked throughout the house by the time we are done. Wheelbarrows full of husks and cobs tossed to the pigs.

Fresh ripe peaches.



Enjoying fun with my grandchildren.

Smells and tastes of freshly baked goodness.



Sunflowers in September



A John McCutcheon ballad heard at an outdoor stage.

Autumn color.

Weekly visits with my Grandma during the last twenty years of her life.

The smell of my dog. I know, lots of people won’t understand this, but smell is inextricably linked to emotion for me, so happy relationships are linked to their smells. I may not like the smell of all dogs, but I love the smell of mine.

Well, that's a beginning. As I've flipped through pictures to choose what to share, it has been hard to keep this reasonable. I fear that I have failed on two levels. It's too long...and I've missed so many other memories that hold me. Truthfully, it is the ones I didn't list that haunt me. I want each person who has molded me or inspired me or given me love to be recognized. I left out books and writers, Psalms and hymns, poems. But the knowledge of all I missed increases my gratitude for the list that is beyond my ability to write in its entirety.

It's important to remember that while our times need wisdom and hard work that is beyond what we can understand right now, the truth is that goodness can be found. We need both, not forsaking the hard work and not forgetting the goodness.