Working out of hard things

I wrote the other day about Joel's reflections about Jesus and Peter walking on the water. Joel did not say what events he thinks about when imagining sinking into the sea and being rescued by Jesus. Right now, I think of our church.

Our church began a hard journey two years ago, when a member was arrested for sexually abusing his grand-daughter.

I've attended this church since my infancy, and I remember other hard times and even church splits.

I don't remember a time harder than this.

Our culture is only now beginning to understand the effects of sexual abuse, and how widespread it is. Churches are ill prepared to respond. So, we have responded in a fumbling in the dark kind of way. It has been grueling.

As we have tried to find our way to understanding what happened
I continue to observe the wide continuum of responses to what happened, and to what is currently happening.

We all are different in our personalities and experiences, so the impact of the abuse and our responses to it have also been different. With something that shakes us to the core, our reactions come more from gut emotions than well thought out rationality.

I'm not the only one feeling strong emotions. Others feel equally intense emotions, but in reaction to different triggers. It is easy to misunderstand each other and to make accusations or take offense when we are feeling so reactive. It takes strong intentions to continue to listen well with empathy. And even then, sometimes we fail.

Sunday was yet another marker on the road to understanding and responding to all that has happened---

We had our annual meeting, and part of it was dedicated to lining out our current and future responses to what has happened.

The meeting was somber. Even at the beginning, as we moved through the regular elements of an annual meeting, people used careful words. Their voices wavered and cracked. Tears were shed. Scriptural admonitions were read to not lose heart, but to continue striving for the truth, for good.

In the last year we have hired G.R.A.C.E. to investigate all that happened in detail, and to make recommendations for what to do now. The goal is to become a church that is
healthy and safe for children,
who holds itself and its people accountable for the ways we treat each other,
who has a structure in place to guide us if such a terrible thing should happen again among us.

G.R.A.C.E. gave us a long list of recommendations.

Sunday our church board solemnly stood before us and unanimously committed to implementing all of those recommendations, and in addition, in many cases giving more specific details as to exactly how compliance would be achieved.

They have worked hard through long and painful meetings to come to unanimity. The board is comprised of members who represent the varied viewpoints of church members. Coming to agreement and being able to stand before us together as they did was huge, and a testament to God's movement among us.

As we move forward from this moment, there is still a lot of work to do. Those who have not been as involved in discussions and decision making need to be caught up on the information that has informed the decisions. They must be able to ask their questions and have them answered without being shamed for not knowing the answers already.
We will continue to carry out the recommendations from G.R.A.C.E.
We will do everything we can to make our church as safe as possible for children and for those who have survived abuse.

May we walk together gently, and with integrity.