Taking My Thoughts Captive

I'm part of a small group of women. The group has changed several times, but we have been together in one way or another, adding and losing members occasionally, for more than thirty years. We have come to know each other well, and have walked through some hard and some joyful parts of life together. It has become a regular part of our sharing to tell how we are being challenged in our faith.

Last time we met, one of us spoke about a sermon given at our church on September 24. You can hear it at this link. I went home and listened to it again, finding a lot there that was helpful.

The first scripture in the sermon, Romans 12:1 and 2, has been my favorite for many more than thirty years.

"I appeal to you therefore, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God---what is good and acceptable and perfect."

In our small group, my friend talked about taking her own thoughts captive. She spoke specifically about the time she has built into her day when reflection happens. After hearing the sermon, she decided to structure that time a bit more to renew her thoughts. She went on to explain the things she was changing and I resonated with her words.

My thoughts have been scattered a lot lately. My life has less discipline than I would like. So many things are important, so many needs demand attention. I find it hard to set a direction with clarity. The longer I stay in these scattered thoughts, the more anxious I become. Sleep has more often been fleeting, with the racing thoughts erupting in the night. I pull out my phone to read the book I've downloaded, and I'm instantly sleepy...until I turn off the screen and roll over to sleep. Then the racing thoughts are back.

My friend having a daily habit of reflection spurred me on. It is time to get back to having space in each day to capture my thoughts.

I don't need another resource for this. My shelves are rich with resources. So I picked the book, Common Prayer, a resource for a daily prayer liturgy, from my shelf. I've begun using it, along with my Bible to return to a daily practice.

That is how I see it, as a daily practice, a discipline that is less about an epiphany, and more about a chance to capture my thoughts and direct them toward the things that are important to me. It is a pause.  It is also a way of offering myself to God for transformation. It impacts the way I understand the thoughts I have the rest of the day.

It doesn't always keep them from racing and becoming overwhelming, but there is a sense that I am less inside those thoughts, and more able to see them objectively. When I get intense, as I often do, the practice is somehow keeping me more aware that that intensity will fade and I will be able to see things more clearly after that happens. In the meantime, I can accept the intensity as part of how things are temporarily.

And...maybe there will be some transformation, as is promised in Romans 12. Knowing what is good, acceptable, and perfect is a good trade for racing thoughts in the middle of the night.